The transition that our beloved kids go through from being adorably inquisitive 10 year olds to intentionally evasive middle-school goers is one during which parents are most commonly left feeling utterly helpless.

This is when the “mom/dad, I need help” is replaced with “I know mom/dad” or the impatient “OK!”

Parenting in the current time is an experience that is absolutely overwhelming occasionally.

As parents, we face so many challenges on a day-to-day basis owing to the fact that our children have exposure to innumerous things that we did not have during our childhood.

There are instances where we are bowled over by what our kids say or do. They know so much more than we did at their age.

The effort to indulge them and bond with them has become ever so complex. The competition is tough you see! Friends and peers who have unlimited access to the internet share so many interesting things. The gadgets that make the gaming world such fun. The list is exhaustive!

To remain a parent with whom a child loves hanging out is highly challenging. The temptations that the world offers to us as adults are no less. Every parent needs all the help he/she can get on this trip.

More so because there are no hard and fast rules set here. In a manner similar to the business organizations coming up with innovative products and services to satisfy customers, parents need to make their own path, one that paves way for a meaningful and strong bond with their children.

Being a parent myself, reading articles on this subject have helped me immensely. Here are a few tips that supposedly help in gaining and sustaining a child’s trust and maneuvering the relationship harmoniously:

• Be consistent

This is the stage in life where children develop an understanding of the need for a routine. The increased importance of education and decrease in time available for pursuing their interests creates a slight imbalance. The role of a parent in this stage would be to act as a role-model and show them that striking a balance is possible through consistency and perseverance. Make time to indulge in activities that they enjoy on a regular basis. Make family time fun!

• Be open-minded

The time that children spend at school, other after-school activities or with friends at this stage exposes them to information that may or not be a part of the topics discussed at home. This is when parents need to create an environment where a child does not feel apprehensive about discussing different things at home. Listening to what a child has to say (that too when he/she wants to say it) is extremely important for developing a child’s communication skills. 

• Be flexible but set limits

Flexibility in parenting does not mean you agree to every whim and fancy that the child demands. Setting limits within which you do things for your child are extremely important. Making the child understand and accept that he/she cannot get his/her way always is significant. Through such an approach, a child learns and accepts that success and failure are both part of life.

• Build mutual respect and confidence

Research in the field of psychology indicates that earning the respect and confidence of a person takes a lot of time, composure and patience.  A parent who wishes to earn a child’s respect and confidence needs to be patient and be respectful. 

• Show appreciation

Everyone loves to be appreciated no matter how old. Letting your child know that you appreciate the effort they put in means a lot to them. It would enable them to believe in themselves and become more confident.

• Use constructive criticism

Showing your children, the confidence you have that they can live up to their responsibilities, helps them to take on new challenges.  In a situation where a child needs to be advised on something that needs to be done differently or has not been done properly, being as constructive as possible, works wonders. Responding to information they share without negativity or overly criticizing helps them to be more open-minded as adults.

The tips mentioned above are not conclusive. The vibrancy and uniqueness of the human psychology and behaviour leave them open to innumerous possibilities.

An approach that works for one parent with a child may not be feasible for another parent or with another child. Being the ones who love and care for them the most, it is up to us to adopt an approach that makes the bond stronger and life experience enjoyable.