Aries. Your plans for a ski-ing holiday are going downhill fast
Taurus. Your pet snail will not be fast enough to win many races . Do not
be tempted to remove its shell to make it go faster; in fact it will make
it more sluggish.
Gemini. You will try to book tickets in 2021 for a Elvis tribute concert by phone. The automated message will ask you to press one for the money and two for the show.
Cancer. You will try to buy some camouflage trousers, but you won’t be able
to find any.
Leo. You are making too many mistakes lately, time for an eye test. Your
acting like a Darlek by trying to ask a dustbin out on a date.
Virgo. You will embark on the journey of a lifetime after the lockdown. You will drive your wife and children to the airport.
Libra. You will stop to think, but forget to start again.
Scorpio. You will receive an invitation in the post to attend a lecture on
telepathy, but there will be no address or phone number to reply to.
Sagittarius. As a non-swimmer you will be invited to join a synchronised
drowning club.
Capricorn. You will make a trip to your local cold store only to find that
they have run out of Vimto.
Aquarius. You will marry a TV engineer. The wedding will be rubbish ... but the
reception will be fantastic.
Pisces. You will attend the funeral of a friend who passed away peacefully
in his sleep. The same cannot be said for the three passengers in his car.
